Merry Christmas!

Hey y'all!

I just wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas.

I am so blessed. Abby and Lexi had to go to Brad's house and we weren't expecting them til about 1:00 today, but instead, last night they came home. Blessings really do come and God really does answer your prayers.

I hope you all have great day and I love you!

Candy

Let it snow, let it snow, let it... NO WAIT! STOP!!!

If you live in Utah, you know what happened today. If you didn't, let me fill you in.

It's a little something called SNOW.

And I'm not talking about Snow College where I was officially accepted and I'm going to go ( :D ), I'm talking about that white, cold, fluffy stuff. And now Utah looks like someone just took a ginormous bucket of snow and just dumped it on us! I was taking out the trash and it came up to mid-calf. I'm six feet tall.

Unfortunately there were reported to be 47 accidents. We had to go to the dentist today (of which for the first time ever I had no cavities even though we hadn't been in two years) and we crawled to downtown Salt Lake.

Besides having a ton of snow, it was COLD! The freakin wind was blowing in my face on my journey to the bus stop. I don't know how cold it go today, but according to The Weather Channel, right now it's four degrees and the wind chill factor (what it feels like) is -9. I believe it!

However, out of all this complaining, I'm grateful for it and what I have. I'm grateful for the moisture, but I'm so grateful for a warm home. Not only a house, but it's warm. I know that there are a lot of homeless people who are very sick now and maybe dying. There are also a lot of homeless pets. I'm not some PETA freak, but having two dogs, it breaks my heart that they are going to be frozen and sadly, possibly freeze to death--literally. We were driving in a parking lot after getting dinner and saw a cat in the deep snow. My mom says "do you think it will be OK?" I always say yes and I'd like to think so, but I don't think it will make it through the night.

So snow is both a blessing or curse, however, I'll take it. Why? It's December and I'm no Scrooge!

Take care,
Candy

PS: I missed y'all!

$%#@&!!

I'll tell ya, I've never been so tempted in my life to cuss. And not only cuss, but to cuss so my brains are oozing out of my ears. I swear to heck that Satan is right next to me on my shoulder.

I am seriously I think to my breaking point. I've been to my max and over my max, but I don't think I've ever been at my breaking point. If I wasn't a minor, I'd be packing my stuff and leaving my life behind. I think to myself, "I only have a year left" and then it turns into "I have a whole year left!"

I don't know if it's the teenage hormones killing me, but something is and I've lost it. I'm this close to going on a rampage. I've already had my first mental breakdown in front of kids from my school and that was already horrible. I've never been so embarrassed.

In the past couple of months I've had:

• turning 17
• 15 interviews for jobs and not a single hire
• a mental breakdown
• lost my wallet with my identity and what I'm know to the government as inside
• multiple teeth problems
• the possibility of having hypoglycemia
• being absolutely broke
• endless trouble with parents and siblings
• hypocrisy surrounding me 24/7
• found out I've been lied to several times
• dealing with weight
• ACT (tomorrow!)
  
• finding a college to attend
• a way to pay for college
• having my parents even occupy in their mind that I'm going to a certain college

Ok, it may not be a lot for you, but I've never really experienced these before in my life and if someone gave me the offer to not exist and go poof! I'd take it in a heartbeat. I don't want to die, but I want to go away.

For now I'll use the usual freak, shoot, darn and gosh, but in the future, you might want to have the "bleeper" handy.

Candy

Dishonesty

If anyone knows dishonesty, it's me. It's not only cost me pain, but a job and a father. I've been ripped apart by dishonesty because I'm gullible. People tell me that I need to be more aware, but I just want to give everyone a chance because I feel like they should at least get one, but every time it disappoints me. I feel like I can't trust people who I've never laid my eyes upon before. Here's why:

My Project Playlist was hacked into. Seriously. I NEVER gave my password to anyone. What I can't figure out is, out of anything you could hack, why that site? All I can think of is I have a good taste in music and someone was too lazy to compile everything together. Nothing lost except a bunch of precious time. So now my Playlist URL is here. Enjoy!

However, the main reason I'm blogging today is because of what happened this past Monday and Tuesday.


For those who don't know, I belong to an club at school called DECA. It's a marketing club where you can compete. I am the secretary for our chapter. We attended a leadership conference called Momentum. And this is how it went...



Monday
We all meet at Mr. Brooks' (my advisor) room at school and then get on the bus to Park City. When we get there we go shopping at the outlet mall. I however went window shopping because my family is poor-poor. I didn't mind it much except it was very frustrating because one of us, lets call her Jane, is spoiled. She has a job, but she's one of the youngest, a girl, and belongs to a family "enriched" with the Church and does well. Plus she's popular. In my book that equals a recipe for someone who I don't like, which I don't. She spent a ton of money and it was hard seeing her with all those bags, but I didn't know that would be my biggest problem. You see, Hunter High School sucks. Sorry, but it does. It's notorious for keeping people waiting. For instance, when we were finally leaving to go to lunch, some girls from the school actually made the bus driver stop at Old Navy so they could get some more things. Seriously. We waited about 15 min. We could have walked to the restaurant and back and then back again. The problem is the adviser is no different. I was livid.
We then went to lunch at Ruby Tuesday. I had never been there before and was really excited, but I shouldn't have. We had a small meeting and a swearing in ceremony and I got a nice pin and some recognition, but after, at my table I was placed with guess who: Jane. We were allowed the salad bar and then were given two tiny mini burgers and a handful of fries. Maybe I eat a lot, but I was starving. When I was done, all the other girls had eaten a bite of their mini burger and a fry and said they were "stuffed". I felt so ashamed! I may be big, but I'm not a pig and I was so mad because I felt like this huge slob. There I also learned that Jane would be one of my roommates.
ARG!!!
We then went to our hotel, which was wayyyyy nice. It was called the Yarrow. Beautiful! We got settled down and soon went to an opening ceremony and then workshops.
I had to go to two workshops, one of which we had a beginning activity where one of the speakers said a quality about us and we either moved left or right to sit on someone's lap. In the process I ended up in the back.
Afterward, I went to the Albertsons right next door to buy some breakfast because for some reason they weren't serving it to us. At the checkout, I opened my purse only to find no wallet. I told the cashier to wait because I thought I may have forgotten it in my room. So I head to my room and it's no where. I look in my bag that they gave us. Not there. I looked in my suitcase, the bathroom, not there. I went to the front desk if anyone had turned it in, no one had. I looked in the parking lot, the rooms, upstairs and downstairs, retraced my steps. Nothing.

I was robbed.

I could not believe it. I was scared out of my wits! I had my social security card, my drivers license, my debit card, and some money. So I called Mom and had her freeze my account, but unfortunately, that's all I could do.
Later that night we ended up going to the cemetery, which was OK and fun, but it was so far and I was so tired.
Later that night I check again with the front desk and no one had turned it in, so I decided to call it a night and had pizza and watched a movie with some of the other kids.
That night I couldn't fall asleep and pondered with my scriptures and for the first time in my life I got a clear answer from them. I think God was watching over my shoulder that night.


Tuesday
I woke up with a rock in my mouth.
Actually, it wasn't a rock. It was a piece of my tooth! I quickly looked in the mirror and I chipped my teeth. Note that that's plural. You see - I grind my teeth at night and I guess if I'm frustrated, I really get going and that's when I chip my teeth. Yes, that's right, this has happened before. Twice. And I've had my teeth replaced and that actually broke off. Soon I had to get ready and 8:15 came and so did Michelle from next door.
"You guys, we're supposed to be there!"
"But I thought he said the workshop was at 8:30?!"
"Yeah, but I guess they were wrong."
I wasn't even finished and I ran! The activity for the day then when I got there involved what I call my 9th grade gym class. It was still exercise, but not running a mile. I felt like taking another shower! Afterward I checked the front desk again, still no wallet. I soon went to more workshops and I just wanted to go home! All I could think of was someone stealing my identity and how angry I was. We had lunch and I asked the front desk again, still no sign of the wallet.
Finally, God was answering my prayers. The bus driver got the wrong schedule and was going to take us home early!
Before I left, I asked one last time about the wallet. The girl looked annoyed, but I thought it was worth it. Usually in my life things happen the best for the last time. I always find something or something comes to me. Much to my demise, no trace of the wallet.

I got home about 4:30 instead of 6:30 and relaxed a little, but I couldn't stop about the wallet. I feel like I've failed myself. I also feel like I've been violated. This isn't like your little sister stealing your diary or someone stealing your gum, this is what the government knows me by. People lose their entire lives over those precious cards. I'm 17 and I've already screwed up my life (at least I feel like).

I did learn a lot, but I can't tell you enough how much life has bitten me in the butt. I know that wallet is long gone and there's nothing I can do about it and all I can do is pray and hope for the best. By the way, if you haven't figured out, I think my wallet was stolen during the "lap activity". My bag was on the floor. It was closed, but in plain view.
I also want to say that I've finally found my clique. When I told everyone at the dinner table about what happened, about half of them at the same time offered me breakfast or to buy me breakfast. No one has ever done that school or church wise.

Never EVER underestimate the power of friendship and never EVER underestimate people's potential.
Candy

College

Ok, you know what's coming...
I have to apologize for not following up on people's blogs, but I promise I do eventually. This really is a busy year for me. I don't always blog though because I always feel like I'm complaining and that my blog is really a public diary. I've had people tell me they don't want to be around me anymore at how negative I am so then I don't talk and then I don't blog. I apologize if I've made you feel that way. :(

So anyway...

I thought I would wait until it was "official", but every day it's all I think about.

What am I talking about?

College.

Oh wait, lets try that again.

COLLEGE!!!

Much better.

:)

Seriously, the only thing that's getting me through this last year of high school, especially since I have a horrible case of senioritis, is college.

Since I've never been to college, I've relied on others testimonies of college and I hear that it only gets better and people who want to be there are there instead and people don't interrupt and actually care because they're paying for it and you actually have school pride. When I hear that, I immediately start to daydream of it.

So what college have I chosen to attend?




None other than Snow College in Ephraim, Utah.

I know, I know, you're thinking "Snow College?"

Ok, maybe not, but that's the response I've received mostly.

But trust me, I do have my good reasons.

1. All I've heard is good from Snow. Literally. I've never heard a single ounce of bad about it. Now I'm sure it does have it's downs, but hearing that many ups from so many people, it just has to be good. One of my friends is currently attending Snow and all she does is rave about it. When I told her that I would be going there, she was ecstatic, and then I got ecstatic!
2. It's cheap. You can't get better than cheap. I mean seriously. I grew up in a home that barely had enough money to pay for milk and bread. Now I know it's not my Mom's fault, but I'm just saying, I had no chance to use some kind of savings. Therefore, I'm on my own. I'd like to use scholarships, but unfortunately I'm not a 4.0 student and my parents "make too much" each year, so I'm probably going to have to go with student loans and the less I have to play later, the better. I will say though that I wouldn't be too cheap for a good education.
   
3. It's faraway, yet so close! With the circumstances I'm in, I just really can't stay home. It's not really that I can't get along with family (well, maybe sisters), it's more of a matter of money, myself needing my own space, and learning to be independent. At the same time, it's only about 2 1/2 hours away and I could go there on the weekends if I like. And I'm still within distance of Dusty and Patches.
4. Since I'm vaguely sure of what I want to graduate in (Communications), I can go here and it'll give me the time and effort to really figure out what I actually want to do with my life and where I want my roads to take me.
5. It's in a small town which usually means nice, wholesome people. If you live or if you have lived in Utah, you know you have plenty of opportunities to visit small towns. With my experiences, the majority of people I came across were wonderful people. Sure I can't just go the the mall in 10 minutes or go to an amusement part about 30 minutes away, but...
6. That leads to: since there's not a lot to do in the middle of nowhere, that means that the college provides a lot to do which includes dances, games, ect. In fact, they have a dance every Thursday night. You can't really say you're bored there. It also gives me lots of opportunities to make friends and interact with others.
7. No fraternities or sororities. I apologize to those who are fans of these organizations, but I'm not. And this to means a lot more safety and more sleepy nights and less likely to have something bad happen to me. I've heard that frat parties really are what they are like on TV and in the movies, and if this is true, I want none of that. Also Snow has a policy where they have no tolerance for alcohol and drugs. Even better.
8. This gives me a chance to "start all over again". You see, I hated middle school and soon didn't care about my grades too much until about last year. Thus my grade point average has suffered much. It really isn't too bad, but I think I'm an over achiever because I know I'm a good student and when my grades don't show that, it makes me mad! It's also hard when you see others who do nothing but brag about their 4.0's and the valedictorian is also the school slut.
9. It has a 100% acceptance rate. Maybe this isn't the greatest thing, but it guarantees me that I'll get in and I won't have to worry about that essay to BYU like half of the people I know are doing. (No offense to Cougar alumni)
10. I have guaranteed cheap housing. I think... I think it's not too bad, but Mom was telling me it wasn't. I need my space and I'm a VERY personal person, so I need a single room. I have a huge chance of getting that for about $600 a semester. And if I didn't want to live on campus, there are a ton of apartment complexes that surround Snow for only a couple of hundred dollars more. Plus almost all of these places include utilities, cable TV and internet. I really don't think it gets better than that.

So when I put these reasons together I thought, "The parents will be thrilled!"

Well... not so much. Mom asked me if I was sure and Lexi told me my mind would change again soon. However, I can understand a little bit.

• Mom and Jerry both attended the University of Utah, which is obviously pretty prestigious. No, they didn't graduate, but still...
  
• I've changed my mind about which college to attend about a million times. None until now were absolutely stuck in my mind, but there's been a lot.
  

• At first I really had no idea what colleges were out there, so I went with my parents and thought of going to the U, but I found out I didn't take the right classes including two years of foreign language and three years of science, so I had to forget that.
• 
• Then I heard about Salt Lake Community College and that kind of stuck for a while because it was cheap. I then soon knew I wanted to live away from home and learned that they didn't have on campus housing so that was out of the picture.
• 
• I had heard about Utah State University from my teacher and when she went there, but I HATE snow, unless it's Christmas and I really did not want to deal with that, so that was bye-bye.
• 
• Weber State University came into mind for a while when I was seriously thinking of acting as a career, but when that passed, so did WSU.
• 
• I looked at another cheaper option of the College of Eastern Utah. Not that it's a bad school, but have you ever had a gut feeling about something? For some reason, it came to me that I just should not go there for some reason, so I abandoned any pursuit further.
• 
• I then decided to get a little farther away from home and started to look at Utah Valley University after looking at a booth at school and talking to the ambassador who was not only really friendly, but good looking. Unfortunately they didn't have dorms either and their off campus housing was pretty expensive, so that was out of the picture.
• 
• We went on a much needed vacation to St. George, Utah, which is on the other side of the state. Down there I saw Dixie State University and was somewhat intrigued, but learned it was the party school of Utah, so that was it.
• 
• Soon I found something that not only I enjoyed and was good at, which was film editing. I then began looking for film schools and found Columbia College Hollywood in Los Angeles. I REALLY wanted to go here and made it my #1 decision. Too bad off campus housing (which was the only option) was almost half the tuition (which was a lot) and LA is an expensive area to live and also so far from home, so I decided to buck up and mark it off.
• 
• I then went straight to focus on Neumont University in South Jordan, Utah. I've always loved working with computers and the only degree they offer is in Computer Science and tuition is expensive, but you usually get your bachelors in two years and it pays a lot BUT they don't offer a Masters degree, off campus housing (which is the only option) is expensive and I wasn't completely sure what it's what I wanted to go into and I didn't want to spend all this money on something I wasn't sure of on it, so that was a no.
• 
• Since I'm a senior, almost every day half to all of the mail is mine I also had more options I could conciser including half the colleges in Ohio, college on the east coast, and all women colleges.
• I then narrowed down my choices to Snow College and Southern Utah University. I then found out how wonderful Snow was so now I'm going to Snow College and very possibly SUU afterward.

I never knew getting ready for college could be so complicated, but it's a whole new step to live and I'm more than excited. All I have to really do now is take the ACT on Saturday, get my scores and then apply to Snow.

Once it's official, I plan to get all the information I can sit down my parents on what I plan to do and a Q&A session to help them adjust to the idea.

Maybe I shouldn't have done this blog, I'm so pumped up!

Candy

PS: I plan on getting at LEAST my Masters and hopefully my Doctorates.

Only the Lonely and Geeky

This week was homecoming week at Cyprus High School.

This is supposed to be the week you are loyal to your dear Alma mater, but forgive me, I'm not.

Personally, I HATE high school.

For those who just don't understand, try this. Think of something that you really hate doing, such as getting cavities filled, going to the doctors, moving furniture, ect. Now imaging doing that 5 times a week for more than half of the day. That's what I go through. I can't tell you how much I am so excited to leave Cyprus.

Sometimes I dream that I make it all the way to the end of the school year and I die and I never get to leave high school and never go to college. That is currently my worst nightmare.

We had some activities going on this week, none of which I participated. However, there was a car smashing at lunch yesterday and I would have loved to do that, but I didn't have time. I didn't even do the Powderpuff game because it's touch football. I would have gladly done it if it was tackle. (Mean you say? More like revenge)

Yesterday was the assembly. I wasn't as angry as years before until I saw my stake president. My stake president was the speaker. I was pissed. You see, he was our bishop when we first moved here. Many of you don't know but Brad told people and Robert McDaniel some things that weren't true about my mom. Thus people were I'm guessing "afraid" of us and never talked to us. He was one of them, when I think we should have been a little closer than others. He'd avoid us at all costs. For example; one Sunday we were early and sitting on the benches. He was going one by one to shake hands and talk to people. He shook the people's hands in the row in front of us, talked to someone in the aisle, and then shook the people's hands in back of us. I honestly do not think he accidentally missed us. Maybe it was my hatred, but I thought he was a jerk in all he said. He was the big time jock and got all the girls. I can't take it anymore so I read a book instead. I was sitting next to my friend Yuli and she wasn't too impressed either.

Last night was the homecoming game. I did not attend because:

1. I can't pay attention to football for even a second. I just don't get it. I only get excited about it because my family likes it. I ask for a sports shirt for my birthday or christmas and always get football. If you see me wearing one, you'll know why.
2. It's all about the popular people. The cheerleaders, the student body officers, and of course, the jocks.
   

I didn't realize how much I hated high school football until I really attended my true first one not too long ago. My sophomore year I helped film the game, but I couldn't really pay attention, only that I need to focus on the ball. When I was there to purely enjoy the game, I had to leave early because I just couldn't take it anymore. I told my parents that I'd probably be home at 10:00. I came home around 8:30 after half time started.

And 14 minutes ago, the Homecoming dance started. And I'm not there. And it's my senior year. I don't even know why I'm complaining though. I went to my junior prom with one of my best friends named Chris. I was so appreciative of him and I did have fun, but it was too much emotionally for me. Especially when the prom king and queen were introduced. I like the homecoming king and queen, they're nice to me, but they are student body president and officer and just so... perfect. Everyone loves them, they're handsome/beautiful and can't do anything wrong. I think I wanted to go because its my last year and I know this kind of opportunity won't happen again and I just want to be included and I want to know that I'm pretty, but it's no for all three.
Of course, I could go stag, but personally I think that's extremely tacky, plus I have no money. I wish I could be Cinderella...

So tonight, the family is gone and it's just me, Dusty, and Patches. We're just gonna hang out here and maybe think about what could have been.

Candy

Julie & Julia

Last night, my sisters, Mom, and I had a "GNO" - Girl's Night Out. (I thought that would be just from Hannah Montana, but I guess now it's a regular abbreviation) Since Jerry was gone in Phoenix until... we'll actually he just arrived 6 minutes ago apparently. :) After school, we ate at the Old Spaghetti Factory at Trolley Square. Personally I haven't been there in a long time. We used to go there a lot when we lived in Rose Park and frankly, I miss it. It's sad hardly anyone goes there now, it's like a living deserted place, but it's so expensive.

After, we went to the Gateway and saw the long-awaited movie (at least for me) Julie & Julia. Ever since I saw the first previews I've wanted to see it so bad. Good thing it was no disappointment for me and I was surprised how much Mom loved it. I've always loved Meryl Streep and thought she was just perfect for the role. I'd really like to see her win an Oscar for her role. By far the best movie of the year, I've made my mind.

However, for some reason, I couldn't get a grasp on Amy Adams as Julie Powell. I've never really liked Amy Adams and if Julie Powell is anything like the character she portrayed, well, I'm not too fond of Julie either. Personally I just saw her as a whiny brat, but maybe that's just me and there is something wrong with me.

Just like Julie, I've fallen in love with Julia Child. I didn't really know about Julia until her death in 2004 and that's when I really discovered what a jewel she was. To me Julia was so down-to-earth and the best cook ever. I see cook shows on Food Network and they are so picky about everything and make it so complicated. Julia didn't make it complicated and made everything fun. Plus she and I have something in common - we LOVE food. I love it too much and it's got me into a sticky situation which I'm having a hard time getting out of. It's comforting to know that someone loves food like I do. Sometimes it's so hard though because I wish I loved something else so much, like exercise (bleh!!!!!!!!).

Candy

The Adventures of P'Oed Candy staring Candy | Chapter 1

First off, I have to say I'm sorry for not posting. As usual school and looking for a job. I had an interview Thursday at K-Mart and I'm supposed to know by next Saturday. If I could barely survive this last one, I don't know how I'll make this one.

Anyway, Abby wanted to get her hair "tipped". It's like the bottom of your hair is another color, usually blue, green, white, red, blonde, ect. So Thursday she went. When she got home, her hair cut was cute, but he hair wasn't tipped and instead it was done under because the stylist said it would be easier for her. Well, she got it all over Abby's neck and it started to ruin one of her shirts. This is what it looked like when she came home:

Not bad I guess. But little did I know what would come later.

The next day Abby put her hair in a shower cap to let it set so nothing bad happened, except she did try to straighten her hair. This is what happened:


Now the freaking thing is tinted pink and isn't smooth like it should be. I was so afraid to use it this morning that it would make my hair pink.

Now this morning, we thought it should be OK to was her hair. So she got our Fantastic Sams brand of colored hair shampoo and conditioner and this is the result of after the shower:


I mean like, seriously. This pictures don't even do justice. The whole bathroom looked like it exploded. Has anyone read The Cat in the Hat Comes Back and something about the Cat in the Hat has some kind of pink that gets everywhere? That's how I felt. It ruined everything white and the green rug next to the white one is ruined too. I had to throw away a washcloth, a brand new bar of soap and now our new shower curtain liner. Abby used an old towel, but a whole towel is now ruined. Everything she touches turns pink now. Including our plunger handle. I'm not mad at Abby, but I am FURIOUS at that stylist! I feel so bad because I woke up to her crying. They said they would talk to the manager today, but if they don't, I will. Our nice tan and white bathroom is now pink! Now pink is a nice color, but not in the bathroom! I have a feeling I'll be seeing pink for a long time...

Candy

Please pray for me!

I know I haven't been following blogs lately, please forgive me, but I have been very busy looking for a job and school activities. I will catch up on them. I need my friends and family to pray for me though because I have a job interview tomorrow and I need all the help I can get. I've been looking for a job for almost one year and I need this very badly for my family and I. Please help me and keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate you so much and I love you and thank you!

Candy

The Nathan Unck Movie Project

Hey everyone!

I apologize for not posting! School has now been thrusted upon me and I don't have as much time anymore. More is to come however.

Anyways, my friend Nathan Unck now has a movie podcast. He is a movie critic for several local newspapers around where I live and is incredibly passionate and talented about the theatre and film arts. I do not liked podcasts, but I LOVED Nathan's. I really think you should check it out!

Clicky!

Enjoy and take care!

Candy